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Repent- The End is Extremely Fucking Nigh

March 12, 2010

The title of this post is shamelessly ripped off from 28 days later.

In the spirit of this awesome movie, here is part one of my “zombies/infected are taking over the world and we are all so damn screwed” guide/summary thing.

“What’s going on Ma?”
You’re watching the news one day and something just seems off. The newscaster is reporting riots and chaos in the streets of several major cities. She (the newscaster) assures the people of our great nation that there is nothing to worry about, that things are fine and to stay calm.

There is no need for worry. None, life is great… yaada, yaada, yaada…

Most people are going to be sheep here and nod, smile and resume their normal life. Yep, this is how the virus spreads. Humans being stupid, following the crowd and listening to a woman with a very nice smile telling them (From her safe little studio) that everything is fine.

What should you do?

  • Go ahead and stock up on food and weapons, especially if you don’t live in a major city.
  • Warn others and gather the people you care about
  • Make peace with the likely hood that you’ll be chopping heads off very soon

What will you probably do?

  • Scratch your balls (Or another body part)
  • Change the channel
  • Make a mental note to tell someone….. oooo its reality TV! (Damn you ADD)

“A smell only a mortician could appreciate”

Things keep escalating. The violence grows and police forces are overwhelmed. The national guard and the military are called in to help control the cities. There are rumors of bombs, firebombing and roadblocks.

At this point, half of the people are going to start getting nervous. Gas prices will rise and you may expect looting, chaos and general crazy ass insane shit going down.

What should you do?

  • FORTIFY! Make a safe haven and have alternate places you can escape to if need be. If you are in a large town, get out. Find someplace in a more rural setting. If that’s not an option, then you better be getting your ass to Lowe’s.
  • Last minute run for any additional supplies

What will you more than likely do?

  • I’m hungry.
  • Maybe I should be making a plan… but I can always do that tomorrow.
  • I’m just going to take a nap now

“Guess I shouldn’t have been using BBQ sauce as a moisturizer huh?”

One morning you wake, grab a cup of coffee and go out to get your newspaper and see Mrs. Jones from down the street in her fuzzy purple chenille bathrobe and curlers in her hair chasing the mailman, overtaking him and taking a big ass bite out of his loin. Did we mention she was eighty-two? You scream, she turns to look at you with blood dripping down her face and you realize your son was right. Zombies are here and you are officially screwed.

Your middle class suburban life has just plunged head first into the zombie apocalypse.
At this point people are dying left and right. survivors flock to the stores wanting weapons, food and whatever else they can get their hands on. If you have missed the warning signs, have survived Mrs. Jones and made it to your car… I can almost guarantee you’re heading to the nearest Wal-Mart.

What can you expect at Wal-Mart you ask? There may be a group of survivors holed up inside and a parking lot of zombies/infected screaming, groaning and throwing themselves against the doors. Then again, the store may be left standing wide open and ready for some pillaging.
Pluses to taking over Wal-Mart

  • Wal-Mart has EVERYTHING.
  • You’re not going to be bored
  • Probably could pretty much live forever in there

Cons to taking over Wal-Mart

  • If you’ve thought it, so has someone else
  • If zombies retain any thoughts or instincts, Wal-Mart is going to be a place they flock to
  • How well can it be fortified?
  • Your group of survivors need to decide from the get go how you are going to treat other survivors, will you let them join you? Cause they are coming and they may be infected.

“There’s nothing like the smell of fear in the morning.”

Cities have fallen. Towns have fallen. Rural areas are getting the first signs of the undead/infected frolicking in the daisies before someone shoots them in the head. survivors flee into the rural areas. There will be more damn chaos. Some friendly fire and lots of confusion. Expect gunshots, people banding together and ignoring pleas for helps. It’s also possible at this time the zombies/infected are adapting.

  • Do not underestimate the sneaky little bastards. Complacency breeds death.
  • If you are just now starting to see the writing on the wall, go ahead and hit yourself for me, I’ll wait. Okay now get off your ass and get to work.
  • Do not assume that since zombies are in rural America that it means the cities and towns are safe. Remember the zombies/infection is spreading. It’s the one chain letter that works, and damn it works great.
  • Remember, AIM for the head and it doesn’t hurt to do the double tap.


Part two coming soon!

Hehehe

Die mean zombie!!

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Zombies!!!!

March 10, 2010
tags: ,

Okay, I’m addicted to zombies right now. Yes, I am a idiot. 😀

In the back of my mind I’ve been creating a plan. Basically, I’ve been thinking about what I would do if the undead (or infected ala 28 weeks) take over the world in a blood bath.

So what’s your plan? What is the first thing you would do? Where would you go? Who do you want with you?

I promise, I will share my plan after this. I don’t want to influence anyone.

Fly!

March 9, 2010


Fly!, originally uploaded by spazzyyarn.

Random shot of the day. Spring is coming! How do I know? The flies are out again.

I need a name

March 6, 2010

I’m wanting to do a blog that follows our journey of becoming a chicken owning family, but have NO idea what to call it.

Some ideas I’ve been bouncing around are-
Cripple Creek Cluckers
Cluck-able

yeah, I’m pretty much pulling things out of my arse here. So help me name my blog please!!!!!

bawkkkk bawk bawk bawkkkkk

March 6, 2010

LOL I have lost my mind, of this I am sure. Thanks to our neighbors (who really are quite amazing) we are taking the plunge and starting our first backyard flock of hens (and maybe a rooster).

As of now we have on order, 2Easter Eggers, 2 Silver Laced Wyandottes, 2 Light Brahmas and 2 Buff Orpingtons. I said as of now because more than likely I’ll end up adding a rooster and perhaps something that lays a warm chocolate-colored egg.

If you have any suggestions of a rooster (thinking of getting an Easter Egger) or a nice hen that lays a dark brown egg please let me know! 😀

Handspun

February 21, 2010


Handspun, originally uploaded by spazzyyarn.

I’m in love with this yarn! It’s bright and sunny and reminds me that spring will happen one day.

This is the shawl that just won’t end

February 8, 2010

First of all, I want to start this post saying I am so impressed with all the amazing shawls y’all have finished!! They look stunning!
I on the other hand have struggled with this stupid shawl since day one. I have frogged, started over, dropped stitches, ended rows with way too many stitches and some with ten or more less. I’m not sure what it is about this pattern that drives me batty. I’ve done harder patterns, I’ve done thinner yarn on smaller needles, but this one kills me. Maybe it’s the color of the yarn, I have trouble seeing the stitches, maybe it’s the fact that I can’t see the pattern. Usually I can look at a pattern and see what stitch is next, but not with this one. I’m really tempted to frog it completely and take the shame of being a twitKAL dropout.