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It was wrong of you to lock me up. I had to hurt myself to get out. And I know you’re in here, because I can smell your brains.

March 30, 2010

Title quote is from The Return of the Living Dead

This picture amuses me.

You finally escaped suburbia, found a group of merry travelers and have supplies, lots of supplies. You found the perfect place, get there and guess what? Others thought it was the perfect place. Not only did they think it was the perfect place but if you try to come any closer they are going to put a bullet in your brains.

What to do, what to do.

Oh, you need to stop him. Don’t ask me who, him. The idiot running full tilt towards the people with guns. Oh. This isn’t going to end well…..



Now that he’s dead lets try to think of a plan that doesn’t end with everyone dead. Now back up slowly. Find the best speaker, cleanest, most appealing one and send them to speak for the group, or better yet, send yourself. Hell you’ve made it this far right? Unless they look trigger happy. If they look trigger happy send someone annoying.

Approach slowly. Hands out showing you have no weapons. Be clear with what you want. Say, I just want to talk with you. Make deliberate motions, make eye contact and be calm. If they threaten to shoot, stop.

No matter how well spoken you are, you need to realize you may not be able to pull this off.  Depending on what they have been through, there may be no getting inside this town, but we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.

Three things you want to keep in mind while speaking.

  • Make yourself sound necessary. Speak of supplies you have, skill sets the people with you have. Make sure they know you will not drag them down. That you will  not rely on them to live.
  • Make sure they know you are not sick. If someone is sick, be straight forward about it. (If they are sick with a zombie/infected issue why the hell are they still with you?)
  • Try to relate to them, make yourself into a person not just another survivor.

If the group seem wacked out of their minds, leave. There is always going to be another place. If they seem normal and have a few normal seeming requirements before you can get in, ponder it. I can see them asking you to be looked over for illness before integrating into their group. I can see them asking to take your weapons, that doesn’t mean you have to do it, but it does mean that it’s a rational request.

Lets say they let you in and everything is fine.

Then well done. You’ve survived the hardest part of the zombie outbreak. Use common sense and the skills you have learned here and you will make it.

Lets say now they didn’t. What do you do? You move on. Doing the same things you have done up to this point until you find a town that you can get into.

Up to this point I’ve discussed fleeing, but what if you can’t? What if you are stuck in a city where for whatever reason there is no escape?

Have hope little zombie killer, there is a chance.

It’s way to late to be writing this…. so until tomorrow. Tomorrow is filled with how to survive in a city and finally, why this is really important.

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