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OK, I have an idea. We draw straws and the loser runs across the lot with a ham sandwich.

March 14, 2010

Title quote is from “Dawn of the Dead” (2004 version)

Days have passed since the first news reports of things falling apart in the city and you are running low on supplies. What do you do?

First thing you do is pat yourself on the back, you’ve made it further than most! Yay you!!

What you’re going to want to keep an eye out for.

Camping gear

  • small easy to carry tent. (We have a pop up tent)
  • flashlights and extra batteries
  • lantern
  • dehydrated food
  • crank-able radio

Food (Shut up, I know you just said “Well duh!” )

  • Eat foods that expire quickly. Fruits, fresh vegetables and the like
  • Check expiration dates and store canned/boxed goods where the first to expire is the first you will eat. The one that will last the longest needs to be the last you’ll eat. (It’s the first in, first out system Thanks high school job at Mickey D’s!)
  • Water. WATER, WATER!!
  • Go easy on junk foods. Yes they are a comfort item, something that can make you feel better after watching Nana gnaw on your brothers girlfriend, but it’s also going to cause you to crash. Sugary treats are great for a pickup but if you rely on them your body is literally running on crap and it’s going to perform crappily.


  • Band-aids. Big ones, little ones, latex and latex free. If you see ’em, grab ’em
  • peroxide, alcohol, iodine
  • vitamins
  • Tylenol and aspirin
  • ANTIBIOTICS. No joke. In a world minus a basic infrastructure, a small cut could kill you.
  • pick up a few ace bandages, gauze and sterile tape.
  • Any prescriptions you may need to live


  • extra clothes.
  • socks
  • one of those plastic fold-able raincoat things
  • candles
  • lighters and matches
  • maps
  • a silver thermal blanket thing. (They’re sold in camping stores or near the checkout at Wal-Mart
  • This is a little awkward, but if you have a drinking, drugging, addictive compulsion you’re going to want to get some of whatever it is you are addicted to. The last thing you want to go through is DT’s while battling zombies. (And while you are at, ween yourself off of whatever it is you’re addicted to. k?)
  • And needless to say, if you see guns, ammo and the likes take it.

Did I forget anything? If I did, drop me a note and tell me what!

Now where are we going to get all of this stuff??

Let’s take a little poll.

If you think we should go to Wal-Mart or a store like it please raise your hand.

7 people

If you think we should go to a mall, raise your hand.

9 people.

If you think we should go to a hospital, raise your hand.

4 people

Okay, so what has this proven? That a lot of you are still idiots.

We only go to Wal-Mart at the very first sign of shit going nuts. Same with other mass retailers and malls. Hospitals? I avoid them as is, I mean damn those places are SCARY!

“Well, where should we go?”

Very good question! Thanks for asking.

When everything went crazy, you remember seeing all those people flocking to mass retailers and fighting and carrying on for a twinkie? You do? Perfect. So you also remember those same people carrying those things in their house with a bite on their arm and a smile on their lips, trying to rub it in the face of the neighbors who came home empty-handed, right? Cool.

Okay, so you know how Mrs. Jones went nut ass crazy in her curlers and bathrobe the other day? And wasn’t she the very same person who won the battle at Wal-Mart? Yep.
So go over to her house.

She’s walking dead, she’s not going to care and she surely isn’t going to need any of this. Now take what you need, but first, check the house from top to bottom for zombies. Kill any you find and move to the next room. No lingering and don’t be all nosy, there’s no time for that.

Repeat as necessary to get what you need. (Word of caution, knock first. You don’t want to bust into other survivors homes and get rewarded with a shot to the head)

As for meds, one good raid on a drug store and you should be set.

In your pillaging if you stumble across a camping/outdoors type store raid like hell. There’s good stuff in there and you need it. 😀

While raiding you stumble across another band of survivors. They are tired, less prepared than you and barely holding it together. What do you do?

First, check to see if they are infected. It’s an obvious thing but humans have hope. Hope can cause us to do some stupid things, like covering for a brother who was bitten earlier today, saying he just has a cold. If one is infected, how pissed are they going to be if you shoot said person? If it’s a stray they picked up, not to pissed, if it’s someone’s husband, brother or son… back away slowly.
If they all seem fine it’s up to you if you bring them home. There are big pro’s and big con’s either way.


  • You got someone to watch your back
  • Clearing out a house is going to take SO much less time
  • Being the last person alive is not going to be fun
  • Loneliness is a bitch
  • They can give you an entire new perspective, which is invaluable.


  • You are going to form emotional bonds. How are you going to handle one of their deaths?
  • Supplies will not last as long
  • There will be an entire new level of responsibility

You’re back in your house, with all your new friends. You are all happy about the things you have found and are trying to settle in when zombies slam into the wood covering your front door. They slam in again, and again and again. It’s holding, but barely. A couple shots to the head from an upstairs window, with your trusty bow and they are dead, but it’s only a matter of time before more come.

It’s time to move on, time to get out of your middle class neighborhood and to a place where the population is a bit lower.

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 29, 2010 11:47 AM

    Just when I thought you were the only one taking zombie preparations seriously, I found this.

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